The phrase “waddle forward” is meant to be funny. It is also meant to be exact.
It is not the same as “move on”.
This matters. Self-help has been selling “move on” for fifty years and it has not worked, because move on is not a description of what humans actually do after hard things. Move on is the marketing copy. Waddle forward is the engineering specification.
What move on assumes
Move on assumes a clean break. Yesterday you were grieving, or burnt out, or in the middle of the worst week of your life. Today you are not. You have moved on. The grief has ended. You are now elsewhere.
This is not how anybody actually recovers from anything. Nobody who has lost someone has moved on. They have learned to live alongside the loss. Nobody who has burnt out has moved on. They have learned to function with less than they used to be able to spend. Move on is the lie. Waddle forward is the truth.
What waddle forward is
Waddle forward is moving in a direction without claiming to have arrived. It is the slow, uneven, sometimes backwards, sometimes sideways motion of the actual healing process. The duck waddles. The duck does not march. The duck does not sprint. The duck moves anyway, in its own gait, looking ridiculous, getting there.
The waddle is the point. The forward motion is incidental.
Why the duck
The duck shows up in the books because the duck is the working metaphor. A duck is calm on the surface and paddling like mad underneath. A duck is a working approximation of what most adults look like at 11pm on a Tuesday when they finally get a minute alone.
The duck does not need to be healed. The duck does not need to be fixed. The duck does not need a five-step recovery framework. The duck needs to be allowed to waddle, slowly, in the right general direction, while making a small unattractive noise about it.
That is the entire posture of the Waddle Forward books.
What this means for you
If you are reading this and waiting for the day you have moved on, you are waiting for a day that is not coming. The day you have moved on is not the goal. The goal is the day you have waddled forward another inch.
An inch is not a metaphor. It is the unit of measurement. An inch is one phone call returned. An inch is one load of washing. An inch is one shower on a day you did not want to shower. The inches add up. They do not feel like they are adding up. That is the worst part of recovery. They are adding up anyway.
The four books in the series are four different angles on this idea. Duck Yeah is the one that names it most directly. It is the rebuild book. It is for the day after the worst is past, when the long part starts. The long part is the waddle. The book is what to read while you are doing it.
Duck Yeah
When the worst part is past and the long part starts.
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